My wife is absolutely certain Tom Cruise is an evil cult member who brainwashed and destroyed Katie Holmes. It astounds me that somebody who can't stand the sight of the man can know so much about his personal life, but that's what reading People and US Weekly can do for you. She will tell me over and over that the Church of Scientology is a cult and that Tom Cruise is a crazy man. She won't say it, but the implication is that Katie Holmes was just a naive innocent who got sucked into his world and is now a Scientologist zombie with no decision-making abilities of her own. I actually find it amusing to bring them up every once in a while just to see how fast she says "EEEW!" It's way cool.
Saturday, September 19
Tom Cruise
My wife is absolutely certain Tom Cruise is an evil cult member who brainwashed and destroyed Katie Holmes. It astounds me that somebody who can't stand the sight of the man can know so much about his personal life, but that's what reading People and US Weekly can do for you. She will tell me over and over that the Church of Scientology is a cult and that Tom Cruise is a crazy man. She won't say it, but the implication is that Katie Holmes was just a naive innocent who got sucked into his world and is now a Scientologist zombie with no decision-making abilities of her own. I actually find it amusing to bring them up every once in a while just to see how fast she says "EEEW!" It's way cool.
Monday, July 13
Brad Pitt
Somewhere along the way (possibly at the encouragement of the popular media) it became an established fact that Jennifer Aniston is the sweetest, most gentle, loving, innocent girl in the entire world. And Brad Pitt married her and then wouldn't have her babies, and ran off with that Jolie tramp because she was more exciting and sexual and less traditional than Jen. It helps that Aniston always plays a beautiful aimless confused girl with a heart of gold in every movie she plays, I guess. Anyway, it doesn't matter what Brad Pitt says. It doesn't matter what he does. It doesn't matter how hot his body is. He's an evil, devious cheater who broke Jennifer's heart, and he'll always elicit an "EEEW!" from my wife.
Angelina Jolie
In my wife's eyes, Brad Pitt may be evil, but Angelina is the Antichrist. Let's start with the simple reason: she stole Brad from Jennifer Aniston. Pretty little innocent wholesome Jennifer. Evil, exotic, evil Angelina. Then, throw in the fact that she's crazy, as exhibited by that whole Billy Bob and the blood thing, and you have yourself someone who's easy to hate.Then, as an added bonus, she flies all over the world and brings attention to the plight of children in foreign lands. Does she help them? No, other than adopting one or two. Sheesh. Pure evil, I tell ya.
Ben Stiller
Honestly, I'm not sure why my wife hates Ben Stiller so much. Every time he appears on the screen, I get a "EEEW!" out of her. Surprisingly, she did that almost every scene in Dodgeball, which we watched all of together. In fact, that's not the only Ben Stiller movie we've watched together. Something about him just makes her say "EEEW!" I'm glad she didn't say that last sentence about me when we met!